Okay, so wealth is a mindset. How do I change our money situation?

Having a family can be expensive. But that isn’t the only challenge. Extra costs often coincide with a decrease in income due to maternity and parental leaves.

Here are three tips to change the financial situation for you and your family.

Understand your money situation right now (even if it scares you).

If you only do one thing, do this. Open your bank account, see what your balance is and really look — even if you don’t want to — at the ins and outs of your money. Find out how much money you have coming in. Figure out where your money is going. Calculate how much debt you have. Getting a clear picture of your financial situation is the most important thing you can do. The access through the other side is embracing where you are right now.

Only spend on what serves you.

After figuring out what you are spending your money on, ask yourself if the spending is in line with your values. Go line by line and evaluate whether the costs are serving you. Are you spending a lot on dining out, but not putting much, if anything, aside for retirement? Have you blown a bunch of money on the latest-and-greatest gadget and are not contributing regularly to an education fund for your kids?

Look for ways to increase your income.

You can only cut so far. You should also look at ways to increase your income. Write down any idea that comes to you. Consider getting a new job, launching a business or side hustle. An extra $500 or $1000 per month may go a long way to meet your goals.